Hi, My name is Shawanna Denise and I am so glad that you took the time to visit my website. Shawannadenise.com is a place where you will find comfort, reassurance, healing, and hope. I know what it feels like to be depressed, lonely, and trying to find the strength to cope with everyday life after losing someone or something so dear to our hearts. I cannot count the many nights I’ve cried, had panic attacks, energy blocks, and the struggle to get out of bed. My mom’s death really took a toll on me. For a long time, I felt that no one really understood my pain or what I was going through. Grieve on this level was something new to me, it was sudden and unexpected. I will never forget that phone call and the nervousness and the shaking my body was doing; I remember it as if it was yesterday. Those images and surroundings still plague my mind.
For me I thought that keeping busy would keep my head straight, thus trying to avoid the pain, so along with my baby sister we started a boutique business in honor of our mom because fashion was her thing, but then like a lightning bolt, it hit me…I never gave myself the chance to mourn. I was experiencing a form of grieve known as repressed grief along with chronic pain. For me to pull myself up, I sought help through writing, therapy, and comfort in God.
Not even a year after losing my mom and believing that nothing could be any worse than her death, my marriage begun to fall through the cracks. I am a very private person and don’t share my private matters with many people, only those close to me, but now I am sharing it with you because I believe in being authentic, I believe in truth, and I believe that my story will help to heal others who have been through or is going through what I went through. Everyday is a journey and I am still in my healing process, but I never in a million years thought that the one person that I needed by my side the most, would also be the one to aid in my pain.
During the brokenness of my marriage, I felt lonely, unworthy, ugly, not good enough, and ashamed. I was in a very dark place. Not only was my marriage failing, my school closed down, and I stop working on my business in-order-to cope with all my pain and losses. I was in a very dark dark place. A place I never want to go back to, a pain I couldn’t fathom experiencing again…but in my pain and darkness, I found God. I feel more closer to God than I have ever felt in my entire life. I grew up in the church, at one point I became a Jehovah Witness, then went back to going to church, I’ve never felt or experienced the Divine like I do now!
Tune into my Podcast for more on my testimony!
I know what it feels like to think that no one cares, to experience an emotional roller coaster or negative patterns that alter our behaviors and belief systems…I get it! I have been there and till this day am working on ways to control my life for the better which I’ve found through healthier methods such as reiki healing. So, I welcome you and pray that you will find support, healing, and encouragement.